Mister X Transcript 1

Gay Sweatshop presents Mister X by Roger Baker and Drew Griffiths.

Mister X. Part 1. Masturbation Can Be Fun.

This is my first today.

This is my second.

My third.

I’m nearly there.

So am I.


Who are you thinking about?

Raquel Welsh.

Bridget Bardot.

Steve McQueen!





What’s a homosexual?

A homosexual is incurably ill.

A homosexual is a sick, abnormal pervert.

A homosexual is a sodomite indirectly responsible for bombing of property, hijacking, murder, kidnapping for ransom, mugging, general selfishness and empty churches.

What do they do?

They molest children.

They spread disease.

They suck cocks.

Who says so?

Our leaders say so.

‘They are a malignant canker in the community and if this was allowed to grow it would eventually kill of what is known as normal life.’ F.J Ballinger, House of Commons.

‘They are the most disgusting people in the world and they are unfortunately on the increase, I loathe them.’ Earl of Dudley, House of Lords.

What do you do if you are one?

There are several avenues open.

Join a monastery.

Have a lobotomy.

Commit suicide.

But one thing you must never do is talk about it.



Infection might spread.

When you’re suffering from an incurable disease, the thing to do is read about it. I went to the library and found that they were right. I was condemned to lead a tortured, miserable existence. Shunned by decent folk. The only hope I had was to pretend to the decent folk around me that I didn’t have the disease and that I was one of them.